


A Bloom In My Dream

by StrangestBlossom



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Desire to Please, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 02:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14033844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangestBlossom/pseuds/StrangestBlossom
Summary: Chest still aching from the weight of his failure. His anxious dreams had turned into a nightmarish reality. What will Ray do when his tester must face the consequences for his actions?Kali is my MC.





	A Bloom In My Dream

A sense of triumph filled Ray upon finishing his work. He'd have to start on tomorrows assignment in a few hours, of course, but for now he had some time for himself. His fatigued body begged for sleep, but all he could think of was his tester. He buzzed with excitement at finally being able to see her. But dread filled him when her door came into sight.  

Would she send him away? Angry at him for the lies he had to tell? For not being able to protect her from the traitorous V? Would his presence provoke her to throw things at him? That wouldn't be so bad. If that was the price he had to pay to see her again, to hear her voice again, though it would be filled with contempt. It's what he deserved, after all. So, he knocked. 

Silence. Was she even here? In his excitement, he hadn't thought to even check where she was. He was such a moron. Knocking again, he called for her, "Kali?" Still nothing. 

Fingers gripped the doorknob, though his nerves made him hesitate. If she wasn't here he could just poke his head in and check, right? Or would she be mad? Oh, but to see her face again... 

The loud click told him it was too late to turn back. 

Mouth dry with apprehension, Ray swallowed heavily before peering through the crack in the doorway. Moonlight spilled onto the floor painting the pink room in an eerie glow. He called for her again, and this time she responded, though her voice was muffled. He opened the door wider and saw her lying in bed. Her eyes, while looking towards him, were glazed over.  

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't know you were sleeping," Ray said, stumbling over his words. "I shouldn't have come in. I-I'll leave." 

"Ray, please," she croaked. 

The dread in the pit of his stomach grew to a hefty weight as Ray shut the door behind him. Kali still hadn't moved to greet him as she usually did. Just watched with glassy eyes as he drew closer. Her breathing was labored as he reached the side of her bed. Was she sick? 

"Kali," Ray started. "Is something wrong?" 

Kali finally moved to face him, though it seemed to take a lot of effort to do so. "I'm sorry. They made me..." The rest of her speech was drowned out as Ray noticed the blue staining her lips.  

"No!" Ray cried out. "Why? Why? I told them you did it. Why would they..." Hot tears pricked at his eyes as he realized it must've been Savior's orders. Did she not believe him when he said that Kali took the elixir? Did he fail so badly at every turn that she had to face the consequences? "Why you? It should've been me. I deserve the punishment, not you." 

“Don't say that,” she said with a cough. Ray's hands went to his scalp, pulling at the strands. Messing up his hair that he had so meticulously groomed earlier. How could she worry over him? How could she think him blameless when she was like this? Forehead slick with sweat, chest heaving with every breath. "It hurts," her voice was hoarse. 

"I..." Ray paused, willing the tears not to fall. He can't be a weakling. Not when she was the one suffering. A gloved hand cautiously reached out to stroke Kali's hair, trying to comfort her. "I know." 

"Can you make it stop?" Her eyes were pleading, begging for him to do something, anything. 

"I can't stop it," He can't do anything. How useless can he be? "But I know something that will help," he said, as he gently grabbed her arm. He was the one responsible for this. He had to help ease the misery he placed on her.  

Kali made a noise of complaint as he coaxed her out of bed but said nothing as she stood on wobbly legs. She grabbed his jacket in a desperate attempt to keep herself upright. 

"Ray," Kali whimpered into his sleeve as she tried to stand, trembling. She must've been so weak. "It hurts," She shook her head when he tried to get her to move. "I-I don't think I can-" 

"You can, Kali, you're doing so great," Ray said, hoping she didn't notice the doubt in his voice. "Just bear it a little longer." 

Her grip on his jacket was tight as she tried to keep her balance. Ray felt himself become warm at her head resting on his shoulder. Though he wished it could've been under much happier circumstances. Holding her arm, he began to guide Kali to the bathroom. Each step a great hurdle to her. 

Then her legs gave out beneath her. 

Despite Ray's best efforts to keep her upright, her grip brought him to the floor with her. He grunted when his knees hit the ground, but he quickly glanced over to Kali to make sure she was alright. Legs were folded beneath her, arms shaking as they held her up from completely collapsing. Panting as if she ran a mile, struggling to breathe.  

"I'm sorry," she said as tears rolled down her cheeks.  

Ray reached out to her, nervously tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Her skin felt feverish even through his gloves. "Don't be. This is all my fault. I never should've left you alone." 

"It just hurts so much. I can't-" Kali choked back a sob and covered her face, hiding her tears. 

"Please, don't cry. Please, Kali," his voice cracked, heartbroken. "I promise it'll be over soon." 

Ray swallowed his hesitation, he could worry about this later. He reached under her, hooking his arm beneath her knees. She watched him, surprised, as he wrapped an arm around her back and lifted her into the air. She gave a little squeak of shock, one he would've thought positively adorable if this were under better circumstances. Kali's face flushed as she took a quick glance at him, before looping her arms around his neck and held onto his shoulders. Burying her face into his neck, some of her tears landing on his skin. Her breath cooling the trail they left behind. He did his best not to think about how warm she felt against him or the way he could feel her heartbeat racing. It was the elixir, that's all. 

Ray took several strides into the bathroom, carefully resting Kali into the bathtub. He remained silent despite her questioning look. He reached for the knob. 

"You aren't going to like this. I'm sorry," he mumbled before turning the water on. 

The showerhead rained down cold water and Kali scrambled, instinctively trying to get away. Her sharp gasp descended into a hiss as she stilled. She took a deep breathe, then put her head directly beneath the spray of water.  

Ray dropped to his knees, forever grateful for her trust in him. Kali brought her knees to her chest, resting her head upon them. Her hair grew slick and her dress stuck to her skin. Ray dug his fingers into his arms to fight the ache in his chest. Control the emotions threatening to burst forth.  

Kali said nothing for a while, just letting herself be pelted with the icy water. Then she drew back, turning to him. Her face dripping as she smiled softly at him. 

"Thank you." 

It felt as if there were a weight on Ray's chest, crushing him with her words. A frown took over his features as he shook his head. "No, don’t-" He sobbed. "Don't thank me." He bowed his head until it rested on the edge of the tub. "Please don't thank me, Kali. I don't deserve it." Hot tears rolled down his cheeks.  

Kali reached up, her wet fingers leaving a cool trail on his cheek. Ray's watery eyes met hers. "I'm so sorry," he said, suppressing a cough. "It's all my fault. I couldn't-" 

"Ray." 

He stopped with his self-deprecating rant with a hiccup. Reaching his own fingers up to grab hers. Sniveling as she brushed the tears away with her thumb. 

"Ray," she said. " Are you okay?" 

"Kali, don't worry about me. I was supposed to protect you." Ray averted his eyes. "I told them you took the elixir, I don't understand why this happened." He turned his head away to cough. His next words were muffled by his hand. "I'm so sorry, Kali. Please don't leave me. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again. I'll do better." He choked back a cough. "I'll do anything." 

"No, please," she interrupted him before he had another chance to blame himself. "Ray, please tell me you’re okay." 

Ray's chest felt as if it would explode. Burst under the pressure of Kali's eyes on him. Dumbfounded, he could only stare back as she continued. 

"Even if it's not true, just say you're okay," Kali said. "For me?" 

Ray sighed. How could he ever deny her? 

"I'm..." He coughed again. "Okay." 

Her lips curved into a small smile, before saying, "Okay." Then she sighed, braced herself, and stuck her head under the water once again.  

"Kali, I'm sorry," he coughed out. Breathing deeply, he continued, "I'm so useless. I don't deserve your kindness." Another cough. Ray's chest spasmed, pain blossoming inside his ribs. Clasping a hand over his mouth, he hacked until a metallic taste bloomed across his tongue.  

Was this his punishment? Yes, it had to be. This was what he deserved. For making her hurt. For thinking he could ever make her happy. For thinking he could be worth anything.  

That's when he felt something that wasn't liquid fall from his lips. Looking at his palm he saw... Petals? Tiny purple petals lightly coated in blood.  

"Mezereon," Kali answered, bringing her eyes to look at Ray. 

Recognizing the meaning, Ray looked back at her. With tears fresh in his eyes, he whispered, "I just wanted to make you happy." 

Kali gave him a sad smile. 

"I don't think you can." 

                                                                                                                   ___ 

Ray's eyes opened to his bright screen. The image of the messenger's server burned onto his retinas and he found his eyes wet when he went to rub them. Sighing, he stared into his computer screen, numb. He didn't even have the energy to scream when he awoke. Chest still aching from the weight of his failure.  

He would have to get that fake elixir to Kali tonight. Before his anxious dreams turned into a nightmarish reality. 

Tucking the vial into his pocket, Ray slipped out of the intelligence room. Ignoring the eyes of the Believers he passed. Their disappointed stares and accusing gazes following him down the hall. Angry that he had become so distracted by his guest, that the traitor managed to get in. How close he had gotten to the Savior and destroying paradise. But they didn't matter. 

Dread filled him once again as he stilled at her door. He stood there, too afraid to knock. What if the Savior found out what he was doing? He couldn't care less about his own safety, but he was putting hers at risk just by visiting. But if someone forced her to take the real elixir, she'd be in so much pain. What should he do? He huffed, frustrated at his own indecision and shuffled his feet.  

He would give her the fake elixir. He would just have to make this visit short, though he never wanted to leave. He- 

Ray flinched when the door opened, and Kali's curious face came into view. The few seconds Ray spent too stunned to respond, her eyes went from curiosity to delight. 

"S-Sorry, I wasn't trying to listen in on you," he quickly blurted out once he had somewhat regained his composure. He held his arm across his chest, digging his fingers into his bicep. He thought she would be angry at his sudden appearance, but she only opened the door wider.  

"Come in, Ray," she said with a smile. 

"Can I?" He hated the way he sounded so hopeful. "Is it okay?" With her nod, Ray glanced over his shoulder to check for any Believers that may be watching. When he found none, he took her invitation and walked into her room. Kali shut the door behind him, seemingly wary of any Believers catching them herself. Ray couldn't meet her eyes when she turned to face him. 

"I know you didn't want to see me." He could see her smile waver from the corner of his eye. "So, I tried to not come here, but..." He pulled the vial from his pocket. "I wanted to give you this." 

The false elixir glinted in the dark room as he handed it to her. Ray finally brought his gaze up to look at her. Kali looked somewhat confused and slightly hurt when their eyes met. Did she think this was the real thing? No. He would never. 

"Remember the phone call we had earlier? When I said I wanted to bring you a fake elixir? Here it is," Ray said as he began to fiddle with his sleeves. "It tastes, looks, and smells exactly like the elixir of salvation. But this won’t hurt you. I promise," He hoped that would lift any concerns from those small shoulders of hers. 

"Oh, right," she said, her lips twitching into a smile. "Is it full of vitamins like you said?" 

A half-hearted laugh escaped him. "Yes, it is," He said. Becoming somber again, he continued. "If someone tries to force you to drink the elixir, take this instead." A knot formed in his throat at the thought of her in agony. 

"Okay," Kali said, unaware of his concerns. Setting the bottle onto the table, she asked, "But, Ray, why did you get this for me?" 

"Uh..." He hadn't expected her to ask. Perhaps she knew more than what he gave her credit for. "I dozed off for a second. And in my dream, you were in pain from taking the elixir." He felt so vulnerable telling her this. But it wasn't bad. "I couldn't just sit there and do nothing." 

"Thank you, Ray," Kali smiled warmly at him. 

"Uh," Heat coursed through his body. Her smile did wonderful, terrifying things to him. Things the Savior wouldn't like. "N-no need to thank me," He mumbled, embarrassed. "It's nothing, really. Just... Don't mention this to the Savior. Keep this a secret between us, okay?" Ray paused. If this secret was discovered, they would both get into trouble. He didn't want her to be punished too. Kali opened her mouth to say something, but Ray continued. "Then again, you don't have to if you don't want to." His eyes burned. "I'll do everything painful for you. You don't have to do any of that." He didn't care about himself. He didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was her happiness. "No matter what..." 

Upon remembering the mezereon petals, Ray sobbed.  

"Ray?" Kali asked, stepping closer. Worry evident on her face. "Why are you crying?" 

Ray stepped away from her before she got the chance to get close. Kali froze in place and frowned. "Sorry. I'm sorry," he said, wiping at his cheeks. "Please don't be mad. I won't cry anymore." He said, sniveling. "It's just so great to see-" He stopped himself. "No. Nothing. Please just forget I cried." Ray averted his eyes, unable to look in hers anymore. "I-I'll get going." Ray turned and rushed to the door. "Have a good night," he choked out. 

"Ray, wait! Where are you going?" Kali reached forward to stop him. But it was too late. 

Ray ran away. 

**Author's Note:**

> This will soon be a three part series with other versions of Saeran. I hope you liked it! If so, let me know what you think.


End file.
